How We Review

We buy it. We smoke it. We score what we actually smoke. That is the whole method. If a number was not on the jar we opened, or in the notes from the night we smoked it, it does not become a house fact later. If we did not log the counter, we say the counter was not logged. If we did not write down a score, the score stays empty. An empty box is more honest than a dressed-up guess.

Nose first, percentage second

THC is a billboard. The nose is the review. We smell the flower before we quote a decimal. A loud cheddar jar can tell you more in the first three seconds than a terp chart that never rode home with us. Named terpenes stay named. Percentages show up only when they were logged. A batch range from an earlier note stays a batch range. It does not get upgraded into a COA we do not hold.

What a score means here

When a score appears on a review, it is a house score for the cut we smoked. It is not a brand average and it is not a crowd rating. No score means we did not put one on that night. Reviewer, when we do not name a person, is The Stoner Review. Smoked-on is a date only when we logged one. Price paid is what left the pocket, not a shelf range dressed up as a receipt. Market is where we stood only when we wrote it down. Would-buy-again is a yes, a no, or a short note — and only if we actually said it.

The dark spec strip on a review is that file, rendered. If a field says unknown, we left it blank on purpose. Non-review posts do not get the strip. A culture piece is not a strain review, and we will not force a score onto it.

Jar copy is not medical advice

We do not treat, diagnose, or promise that a strain will do anything to a condition. Label claims, brand copy, and old blog sentences that talked like a clinic are not advice, and they are not the house voice. What we keep is how it sat for us: the head, the body, the clock, the snacks, the next-day mouth. That is a session note. It is not a recommendation. If you need medical care, talk to a clinician. This site is not that conversation.

We sell shirts, not cannabis

The Stoner Review is a culture shop. The blog is field notes. The cart is apparel. Nothing on this site is a dispensary menu, and nothing here is a place to order flower. Product cards in a review are shirts and hoodies. Shop Now means the garment. It does not mean we stock the strain, and it is not a prompt to buy the flower from us.

We also do not use a review to name a contest winner the shelf report left uncalled. A strain piece is one cut. A monthly report is the month. They do not get to finish each other’s sentences.

Where to keep reading

Who we are is on About. The field notes live on the blog. If a review is missing a shop, a dollar amount, or a score, that is the protocol working, not a hole we forgot to fill.